The Clearest Mirror

Last month I read a remarkable quote in the Sun:

So a relationship is a great gift, not because it makes us happy - it often doesn't - but because any intimate relationship, if we view it as a practice, is the clearest mirror we can find. -Charlotte Joko Beck

I love this quote so much because it describes how I feel about intimate relationships, particularly the one I have with my husband. I wouldn't say it describes it exactly though because our relationship does make me very happy quite often. Of course it has not *always* made me happy and that is where I have felt the rub and that's why I love what Beck has to say on the subject. Even though my marriage may not make me blissfully happy all the time, I am always grateful for the fact that I have a partner who also views our relationship as a practice. He offers a wonderful mirror: it often reflects a big, deep, generous love.

And when it doesn't - when the relationship is not making me so very happy - it offers a clear reflection of where *my* work lies and points to the spot where I want to dig an even deeper well for love. The work is not always easy but it is deeply satisfying. And I know that D is just as willing as I am to pick up the shovel and dig in beside me.

The picture below was taken the other night after D surprised me by arranging for a babysitter and getting reservations at one of my favorite restaurants. It was the first "date" we'd had in months and it was lovely.

This week I am definitely rejoicing in the relationship I have with my dear, sweet husband.