My Letter to Oprah

A few days ago I got an excited phone message from my dearest friend - she was so excited I couldn't exactly make out what she was saying - something about Oprah...my blog manifesting...call her right back. Needless to say I did and learned from her that Oprah is soliciting stories about personal experiences related to "The Secret" and the law of attraction. Here's my letter:

Dear Oprah,
I watched "The Secret" last November and loved it. And watching it, I realized that I had believed in the law of attraction for years and seen it in action in my own life. Not long ago I was reading a six year old journal where I said I wanted to be fluent in Spanish (to better care for my Latina patients) and work part-time (in order to fulfill my dream of being a nurse-midwife and a mother), but make as much as I did full-time (since I am the sole wage earner for my family). To meet the first goal I decided to get a job in a Spanish-speaking country. I applied to Doctors Without Borders but learned they had NO positions for midwives in Latin America. They said they would keep my application, but that they didn’t think this would change. Two months later they called back and told me they were starting a NEW maternal health project in Mexico and they wanted me to join the medical team! People thought I was crazy to leave my husband AND my good job for a volunteer position in a remote Mexican village. But I knew that I had created this position and that if I declined it I would reject the law of attraction and forsake future gifts from the universe. So I went. I had an amazing experience, and of course I came home fluent in Spanish. As a result, I was quickly offered a part-time job that paid more than the full-time job I left to go to Mexico! I am now a mother to a beautiful 20-month old boy and I continue to work part-time. The bottom line is that "The Secret" has worked magic for me. When I honor the law of attraction the universe responds by allowing me to live my best life. One last note: Not long after I watched "The Secret," I saw your show on the $1,000 give-away to help a stranger. I was so inspired by both of them that I created a blog titled "My Friend Oprah" where I chronicle my intentions, particularly in regard to providing service to others and living a joyful life. If you’d like to check it out, please go to www.myfriendoprah.blogspot.com.


What do you think? Should I pack my bags for Chicago? WHAT should I wear?!?

Fueled by The Sun

A funny thing happened moments after I received the February issue of The Sun in the mail - I quickly scanned the contents page as I always do, looking for a submission from one of my favorite Sun writers, Poe Ballantine. He is absent, but an essay by one of the Sun staffers quickly got my attention. It's titled Abuelita and it's about the writer's experience having a Colombian woman care for her infant child. The fact that she and I both have a Spanish-speaking childcare provider who has become like a family member is not such a big coincidence. But the fact that I thought about writing about it, but hadn't is what is bothering me. Seeing that essay in print gave me the shot in the arm I needed. It came on the same day I saw that WNC Woman magazine is looking for pieces about women travelling the world. And I've travelled the world and even written about it already. I just need to get it out there. I've also been getting many other nudges from the universe to write the children's story I've been thinking about for several years now. It's about a child who loves a bear, but the take-home message is that all beings crave autonomy. So writing about my plans here, again, makes them seem more real and I feel more accountable. I'll keep you posted on the progress.

Comfort and Joy

Just wanted to write a quick post about how much I am enjoying the holiday this year. For the first time my family exchanged only a few simple gifts and instead focused on getting together to make a donation to Heifer International. This is very exciting to me and something I have wanted us to do for a long time. I remember realizing that small acts can make a profound difference after seeing a segment on 60 Minutes *years* ago about the Grameen Bank, the organization founded by Mohammed Yunus in Bangladesh, which provides small loans to women for their businesses. Previously if women needed capital they would have to go to loan sharks and pay exorbitant interest rates that prevented them from ever making a profit. Now women all over the world, even in the United States, receive this assistance and get out of poverty. (Happily Yunus and the Grameen Bank were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize this year!) Heifer International does similar work, giving families farm animals that provide food and economic opportunities (they can ultimately sell the milk or eggs or the offspring). It is very satisfying to think that soon our little chicks, goats and cows will be making their way to some remote village and providing much needed sustenance.

Of course, one of the great joys of Christmas is getting to see it through a child's eyes. Today ds's cousin presented him with a gift and he just stood there holding it for the longest time babbling away happily. It seemed like he was saying, "This is so great. A gift from you. I just want to savour this moment." Finally the cousin offered to help him open it and inside were the toys his cousins have grown out of - a huge collection of Thomas the Tank Engine trains. Ds was so delighted and played happily for hours, lining them up, connecting them and pushing them around. As much as the material stuff pleased him, he was definitely the happiest when his uncle started horsing around with him. I was actually drawn to the room where they were playing after I heard ds laugh *uproariously* - seriously, I had never heard him laugh that hard and long before. It turns our my 12-years-younger brother was just tumbling around him, rolling on the floor, acting like a goof and ds thought he was the greatest entertainer on the planet.

A recent story really highlights ds's sense of humor I think. After a bath ds took a hat (a Girl Scout cap that once belonged to dh's mom) off of his giant monkey (where we think it looks very stylish) and put it on his head and then crawled into my lap to read me a book with great animation. As you can see, this kid is something else. I hope you are all having a holiday filled with comfort and joy.

The Pozole Extravaganza

The pictures above are from the pozole extravaganza last Sunday. The celebration was exactly what I hoped for; of course, it also came after a little bit of drama and soul-searching. You see, I ordered the pozole in its dried form (the canned form is so inferior, it doesn't even deserve the name) over a month ago. Two weeks before the party date I pulled it out to consider if I had enough. I found I was looking at a bag full grubs and spidery webs. I called the supplier and they regretted to inform me that ALL of their pozole was infested and they were happy to offer me a refund. I got on the internet and googled pozole. I made another order which promised to be with me mid-last week. On Wednesday I still didn't have it and emailed the supplier. They said there was a glitch in the shipment and I would have it on the 18th. My party was planned for the 17th. I explained the situation and they said they would try to express mail me a shipment and I *should* receive it by Saturday.

At this point I had to wonder why this was so difficult. I realized that I was putting a lot of energy into making amazing pozole, something that would really impress my Mexican friends. I then realized that what I *really* wanted was to celebrate our friendship and express immense gratitude for them being in my life. When I focused on that feeling I realized, as my friend Katie said, I could serve beanie-weenies and we would all love it. The day after this realization I got the pozole. And after 10 hours of steady heat on the stove, it was delicious. But what was most wonderful was getting to spend a few hours on a beautiful, balmy December afternoon sharing stories and laughing with friends.

A Very Happy Meeting

I am posting this later than I would like but I had a busy shift in the hospital on Sunday. Here's the story: dh, ds and I had a very happy meeting with G and her family early Saturday evening. We planned to meet at 4 that afternoon, but ds took a late nap and we got off at 5 pm. I was in one truck with ds and dh was in another following us. I had directions that seemed clear, but it got dark early and there were few street signs, fewer street lights, and street numbers were only occasionally evidenced on the side of old, dilapidated mailboxes. For almost an hour we were very lost on a seemingly endless number of back roads, climbing up icy dirt paths. My only recourse was to look for direction from one of the various isolated trailers showing some vestige of life. One family raised my hope when, upon seeing my headlights, they came out of their door, waving to me, only to dash it when they said, "Are you here about the birds?" Finally, one kind woman pointed us in the right direction and even guided me with a flashlight as I backed out of her narrow, ice-covered driveway. Dh, who had been a little underwhelmed by the idea of giving G mostly hand-me downs, said it was at this point that he felt like we were offering a real gift because of the crazy adventure we went through to get to her.

As we crept up G's driveway, still unsure of where we were, and she came out of her trailer waving to us, I felt like breaking into song. She quickly ushered me and ds into the house to get warm while her husband and mine brought everything in. She and her children sat wide-eyed and exclaimed happily over every little thing. In addition to all the furniture and baby articles, I was able to give her $200 in gift card money that friends and family contributed for groceries and anything else she needs for her home. G and I both couldn't stop smiling as we chatted easily about the recent births of her and her daughter's baby.

Ds delighted in playing with G's toddler son as we visited. I learned G's husband is from Guerrero, the Mexican state where I lived for 6 months. It is there that I sampled many a delicious bowl of pozole. If you didn't note in a previous post, pozole in a hearty Mexican corn and pork stew, that is found throughout Mexico. Because of its time intensive preparation I don't think you'll ever find it in a Mexican restaurant here in the States (that and the fact that the broth is made with some rather undesirable cuts of pork, but that's another story). It is so popular in Guerrero that Thursday is known as "el dia del pozole" in the cocinas (woman-run kitchens where I would eat lunch everyday) found on every street in town. I told the family about my plans to have a pozole party next week - and they asked who was going to prepare it! I laughed and said it may not be like their mama's, but I thought I could pull off a fairly tasty dish and hoped they would enjoy it - and they are planning to come! I'll let you know how it comes out.

Last thoughts: below are the photos of the trucks filled with all the goods that my friends and family helped make possible. It's hard to put into words just how happy, how full of love and gratitude this experience has made me. I want to do more, find more ways to give, and I would love any input from you as I figure out what that will look like.

Found!

I'm so excited. I just talked with G., the Latina mama I wanted so much to find. After my last post I put in a few calls to friends who work with Latinas here in town. One didn't return my call, one said she would have to think about it and get back to me, and the other (incidently the friend I thought of first, the interpretor at a clinic where I used to work) immediately responded that she knew exactly who I needed to contact. I was able to call her today. We had a wonderful chat and I got to learn a little about her: she just moved here from Virginia, she is about my age, and has four children. The eldest is a 14 year-old daughter who had her first baby 2 months ago. G. also has a son about my son's age (19 months) and a newborn. She says she needs everything because she moved here suddenly and couldn't bring much with her. So now I am going to put out the call to all of my friends to see what we can do. Of course I expect great things.

The Feeling Part

In The Secret there are three steps to achieving what you want: 1) think it, 2) feel it, 3) receive it. Pretty simple, right? Well, #'s 1 and 3 certainly are. The feeling part is the trickiest for me. Last night I had a conversation with a dear friend who has a daughter who often feels that her life is hard. My df realized that she felt anxious and sad when she thought of how her dd was struggling. She realized that her anxious and sad energy was being sent out to the universe and certainly was not helping her or her dd. So she decided to change how she feels about the situation. She is consciously creating moments with her dd when they can talk about the things she and her dd love and all that they are grateful for. Df says she has already felt the shift for herself and feels more joyful, and thinks she sees a shift in her dd, too.

When I told dh about the conversation he said he had wanted to share something with me but wasn't sure he would until he heard me tell that story. He has felt for a long time that I have been anxious and sad about the fact that he doesn't bring much money into our little economy. He has heard from me for a long time that I worry about having full responsibility for being the wage earner. And yes, I would love to see dh making lots of money doing a job he finds meaningful and satisfying. But I haven't heard anything about the universe responding to our intentions for other people and I certainly haven't seen it work in my own life. I am now realizing that is not the point. Because the point (as I see it) is that I can change the way I feel about it. The Secret dvd comes complete with homework - to finish this sentence: "I am so happy and grateful now that..." You're supposed to put everything in the present tense even if it's "I drive a VW Jetta station wagon fueled by biodiesel" and you are still driving your gas-guzzling monstrosity. So getting back to my issue with dh, I can finish that sentence with "my life is full of abundance and we have plenty of money." This isn't even a lofty 5 year goal. My life is full of abundance and we have plenty of money. I clearly understand this on an intellectual level, but obviously not on an emotional level. And that has to do with a whole lot of history, and not whether dh makes a lot of money. So I am going to focus my 5 minute meditation (also a suggestion from The Secret) over the next few days on all the abundance in my life. And I'm going to recommit to keeping a gratitude journal, something I wrote nightly before bed for 7 years until ds came along and completely changed my bedtime routine.

I'll let you know how it goes. Right now I'm grateful for my dog who wants to go for a walk with me on a mild November day.