I am going to get in my weekly post on rejoicing just under the wire: I had, by my standards, a very work-intensive week. Usually I work one 24-hour shift in hospital once a week. One week in every six weeks I need to cover an 8-hour clinic shift in addition to my hospital shift. So this week I was scheduled for clinic Monday and hospital Tuesday/Wednesday, with a monthly staff meeting to follow. Then my dear friend and colleague fractured her finger and she is out on medical leave for the foreseeable future so I need to work more. This week it meant working clinic again on Thursday.
I was a little anxious because so many unusual demands were being made of me and my husband (who was expected to keep the trains running on time at home) and my child (who would be away from me for longer than he ever had been). I think of my spirit as a well: if it is going to be drawn on more than usual, and if I do not want it to be diminished, I need to find more ways of filling it. So I asked my family and friends to help in myriad ways - everything from child care and meals to pedicures and beers. And at the end of the week I was truly grateful to know that not only had I provided wonderful care to my patients but *I* had been provided with wonderful care, too.
My greatest concern was about missing G and him missing me. I managed not to worry though because I focused on knowing that he would have great care. When I got back home on Thursday evening after so much time of being away, this is what he said:
G: Why you come here so soon? Why you come so soon to my house?
Me: I wanted to come home and see you!
G: You through at the hospital?
Me: Yes, I'm all through.
G: What happened to the babies?
Me: The babies are all home with their mommies.
G: They all right?
Me: Yes, sweetie, they are fine.
G (giving me a hug): I'm so glad you went to my house.
D was there and we looked at each other with relief, gratitude and amusement. (And then I told him to make sure to write everything down so we wouldn't forget.)
We've had the most wonderful day today: we're calling it a "jammy" day. We planned nothing more than staying at home - eating homemade cinnamon buns, caring for our neighbor's dog, taking walks, exploring a frozen creek, running around our neighborhood playground, putting together a puzzle, and enjoying each others company immensely.
This week I am rejoicing that my well is full.
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My year of soaring continued this week, assisted by my sweet daughter. When I told Isabella that I chose a word that helps me find my center, she decided to choose one as well. She chose "Jewel" (which she spells "jool" in her wonderful 6 year-old way). It reminds her of beautiful things which she thought would be helpful to her. One day last week, she came running inside, filled with excitement.
"Mommy, Mommy. I was waiting outside for Chase and Chloe to come over. I was feeling really frustrated that they were taking so long to get here. Then," she paused for dramatic effect, "I thought about 'Jool' and I really did feel better".
That would be enough to make me soar for the week. Then, a few days later, she helped me soar even higher! It started Sunday night, the weekend before the Inauguration of Barack Obama as President...a moment in history that has the power to send me to the stratisphere. She had been writing in her diary every night for several nights...and was very clear that her diary was PRIVATE. On this Sunday night, however, she got a twinkle in her eye as she was writing.
"Mommy, Tuesday is a very special day for us cuz of Barack Obama. I want you to know that I am going to share my diary with you on that day."
I told her how sweet that was, but that she really didn't need to. It was her private thing. She replied, "It will really make you happy, mom. I want to".
On Monday night, she could no longer hold out. "Mom, it's almost the inauguration. You can read it now".
I stopped what I was doing and honored this amazing gift that she was giving me. I sat with her as she unlocked her most private thoughts for me to share. Tears welled up as I read the first page.
"Soaring
Mommy
Daddy
Isabella
Andre
Ginger"
And the next page...
"Jool
Isabella
Andre
Mommy
Daddy
Ginger"
And the next...
"Gro
Andre
Isabella
Mommy
Daddy
Ginger"
And the next...
"Capubul"
Daddy
Mommy
Isabella
Andre
Ginger"
And then the laughter when I read the last page...
"Ruf
Ginger
Isabella
Andre
Daddy
Mommy"
I soared to the stratisphere and beyond!
Ruthie! Thanks so much for coming to my blog consistently and posting your experiences with soaring! I love them so much - especially how they have created such lovely ripples in the lives of the dear ones in your sweet family. I am so grateful for your accounts and very much look forward to reading more!!!
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