Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Feeling Part

In The Secret there are three steps to achieving what you want: 1) think it, 2) feel it, 3) receive it. Pretty simple, right? Well, #'s 1 and 3 certainly are. The feeling part is the trickiest for me. Last night I had a conversation with a dear friend who has a daughter who often feels that her life is hard. My df realized that she felt anxious and sad when she thought of how her dd was struggling. She realized that her anxious and sad energy was being sent out to the universe and certainly was not helping her or her dd. So she decided to change how she feels about the situation. She is consciously creating moments with her dd when they can talk about the things she and her dd love and all that they are grateful for. Df says she has already felt the shift for herself and feels more joyful, and thinks she sees a shift in her dd, too.

When I told dh about the conversation he said he had wanted to share something with me but wasn't sure he would until he heard me tell that story. He has felt for a long time that I have been anxious and sad about the fact that he doesn't bring much money into our little economy. He has heard from me for a long time that I worry about having full responsibility for being the wage earner. And yes, I would love to see dh making lots of money doing a job he finds meaningful and satisfying. But I haven't heard anything about the universe responding to our intentions for other people and I certainly haven't seen it work in my own life. I am now realizing that is not the point. Because the point (as I see it) is that I can change the way I feel about it. The Secret dvd comes complete with homework - to finish this sentence: "I am so happy and grateful now that..." You're supposed to put everything in the present tense even if it's "I drive a VW Jetta station wagon fueled by biodiesel" and you are still driving your gas-guzzling monstrosity. So getting back to my issue with dh, I can finish that sentence with "my life is full of abundance and we have plenty of money." This isn't even a lofty 5 year goal. My life is full of abundance and we have plenty of money. I clearly understand this on an intellectual level, but obviously not on an emotional level. And that has to do with a whole lot of history, and not whether dh makes a lot of money. So I am going to focus my 5 minute meditation (also a suggestion from The Secret) over the next few days on all the abundance in my life. And I'm going to recommit to keeping a gratitude journal, something I wrote nightly before bed for 7 years until ds came along and completely changed my bedtime routine.

I'll let you know how it goes. Right now I'm grateful for my dog who wants to go for a walk with me on a mild November day.

1 comment:

tdog said...

I had a dream last night and Oprah was in it. I was at the church retreat, taking care of some of the kids in our program, although the child at church with blonde curly hair had red curly hair in my dream (just like my nephew who I dream about all the time.) Anyway all the adults came out from a workshop and starting running towards the edge of a mountain, to look at something. But the adults were all movie stars: Matthew Macanauhy, Tia Leone was there with David Duchovny, and Oprah. I stepped on her foot twice. When I apologized, she shushed me and grabbed my hand as we looked over the cliff together, to see a bright light, like a science fiction sun shining out over everything and creating a strange dark light. I realized Oprah looked different, skinnier than ever, and then I awoke.