Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Clearest Mirror

Last month I read a remarkable quote in the Sun:

So a relationship is a great gift, not because it makes us happy - it often doesn't - but because any intimate relationship, if we view it as a practice, is the clearest mirror we can find. -Charlotte Joko Beck

I love this quote so much because it describes how I feel about intimate relationships, particularly the one I have with my husband. I wouldn't say it describes it exactly though because our relationship does make me very happy quite often. Of course it has not *always* made me happy and that is where I have felt the rub and that's why I love what Beck has to say on the subject. Even though my marriage may not make me blissfully happy all the time, I am always grateful for the fact that I have a partner who also views our relationship as a practice. He offers a wonderful mirror: it often reflects a big, deep, generous love.

And when it doesn't - when the relationship is not making me so very happy - it offers a clear reflection of where *my* work lies and points to the spot where I want to dig an even deeper well for love. The work is not always easy but it is deeply satisfying. And I know that D is just as willing as I am to pick up the shovel and dig in beside me.

The picture below was taken the other night after D surprised me by arranging for a babysitter and getting reservations at one of my favorite restaurants. It was the first "date" we'd had in months and it was lovely.

This week I am definitely rejoicing in the relationship I have with my dear, sweet husband.

2 comments:

Gourmet Grrl said...

That's quite a tie!

Which restaurant, pray tell.

FOO said...

I know! I can't decide which has a better metallic sheen - his tie or my eyelids. :)

And we went to Limones. A special sentimental favorite - I celebrated my 35th birthday there with about 25 of my closest friends when I was pregnant with G, I got to know the owners (Amy and Hugo) well and they always act delighted to see us, and the churros and hot chocolate are the best I've had north of the Mexican border.

I just read your post about the new Thai in town. I can't wait to go! Thanks for scoping it out for us.