I wrote a few weeks ago about how I have decided "rejoice" will be my word-of-the-year for 2009.
Again, rejoice means to "feel great joy" and "be glad" and "take delight" and "celebrate in some event" and "cause joy to". I am looking forward to discovering all of those nuances over the next year. I thought a great way to know that I am on my way is to write a post each week about something that elicited one (or all!) of those feelings.
Today I am rejoicing in saying yes.
It was saying yes after I said no. Actually, I said, "Absolutely not!" It was a beautiful, sunny day. And it was 30 degrees. I wanted to go for a walk and G, who was very absorbed in play at that moment, said he'd like to stay home. I suggested he could ride in his stroller and bring his toys with him. He liked that idea and said, "Can I get in the green blanket?" I said sure. He said, "Can I take all my clothes off?" And that's when I said absolutely not! He said he wanted to sit with the blanket all around him and be "nudie" (a first). I said it was too cold out. He said, "I won't be cold. I'll be in the blanket. And I'll keep my socks on." (But no shoes.)
I thought about arguing with him some more. I thought about leaving him at home with D while I took a walk alone. I thought about staying home. And all of those thoughts felt bad. I decided to explore my immediate negative reaction to him going out in the cold without clothes on. I realized that I didn't know for sure that he would feel cold. If he did get cold I didn't know for sure that would do any harm (we would also bring clothes to put on or we could go back home). And I decided that there was no absolutely true reason why he shouldn't go out in the cold without clothes on.
I realized it felt better to say yes. And as soon as I said yes and I saw his delighted smile I felt so happy, I laughed out loud. I helped him take off his clothes and he was naked (except for the socks) and I laughed some more. Then D looked at him and said, "Kiddo, can we at least make you wear a sash that says Happy New Year?" (Like the Baby New Year - get it?) And then I laughed so hard my stomach cramped.
So we swaddled him as tightly as we could and took a walk we rarely take (to avoid seeing neighbors who knew us and might call DSS) and laughed often with great delight. It was definitely a time of rejoicing.
And I look forward to saying yes a lot more often this year.
I'd also love it if you, dear reader, would share your stories of rejoicing or delighting (Anna!) or soaring (Ruthie!) or anything for which you are grateful. I'd love it if you would make sharing these stories a regular practice with me.
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Yesterday, I sat down and crafted a "soaring" response to you. The kids came circling, full of joy, and knocked the computer cord from the wall (my back-up battery is dead). The computer screen went blank. Some other day, I might have been bummed (or even irritated, or on a really out-of-sorts day -angry). But this day, I thought, "Hmmm, guess that it is time to let that be and do something else for a while". I really must stress that this is not my norm (although I would like to believe that it is). So, I let it go. I remember the fleeting thought, “I wonder if I will try to recreate my post or if something new will arise”, followed by, “No worries, it will be what it is supposed to be”.
We had a sweet night, made and ate some delicious squash soup, played around with each other. When Andre fell asleep early, I had a wild hair to sneak out for a movie by all by myself. As I was getting ready, I noticed Adam and Isabella with quiet intensity making paper origami cranes. It looked so sweet and fun and present; I decided to “let go” again. This time, I let go of my movie plans and the belief that “me” time must be spent alone! I picked up a piece of paper and joined them. The three of us created side-by-side, folding and turning, folding and turning, big papers, small ones, plain and ornate. Hours of joy later, I looked in the center of our table and saw a flock of cranes, wings expanded, gloriously colored. They were soaring. I looked in my heart and realized that letting go had allowed me to soar as well.
The next morning, I went to edit the above post and when I opened Microsoft Word, a document opened titled: Recovered Document. So, my dear friend, you get a double post…
For the past several years, I have been focusing on letting more joy into my life and have had made great strides in this area (with the help of some masterful teachers such as Eckhard Tolle, Thich Naht Khan, Esther and Jerry Hicks, Abraham, and Stacey Curnow among countless others). Many times, I have known that the powerful, centered Being at my core- the one who sits with me always and who I can even sometimes feel - really is Me. And other times, my also-powerful ego has told different stories, obscuring that connection to the “Me” inside of me. And so, this year, I decided to break free, really reach new heights…no more fooling around, it is time to…
SOAR!
The word came to me in a flash. Soaring is all about joy…I mean really, what could be more joyful that soaring like an eagle. And the deeper I looked into my word, the more it continues to give me. The prerequisites to soaring….letting go and trusting! Can’t go wrong with that. A perusal of official definitions confirmed for me that Soar is the word for 2009. Just check some out:
intr.v., soared, soar·ing, soars.
1. To fly aloft, as a bird; to mount upward on wings, or as on wings.
2. To rise, fly, or glide high and with little apparent effort
3. to ascend suddenly to a higher or more exalted level as in: makes my spirits soar
This is the place for me! Soaring to me implies being full of bliss, joy…embracing the mystery, living life to it’s fullest. And in order to soar, I must let go…_Whi hoo!
Wow, Ruthie! I am so blown away by your post. So completely delighted and humbled. Thank you so much, dear friend, for sharing. I will come back here often when I need a lift on your wings!
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