The Common Denominator

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh." -W.H. Auden

This week I am rejoicing in my friends: Great girl friends with whom I shared a bottle of wine and much laughter on Thursday night, this morning with another friend who came over to share a walk which then became a hilarious race with G to see who could "catch" each others shadow first and tonight with a group of friends who came to our home to eat dinner and play the most fun and cool game - Say Anything.

If you've never played the game I highly recommend it. You have various questions like "What's the best song ever?" and everyone writes their own answer and then everyone votes and then the judge (the person who asked the question and a role that changes with every turn) decides. All of the questions are interesting and always elicit great silliness and often reveal things you didn't know about your friends. I thought the best question tonight was, "What would you do with a $100,000?" I know my friend, and the judge in this case, well and said "Take a trip to Ireland" but his girlfriend obviously knows him better and said "Buy the world's biggest trampoline." Everyone agreed that would indeed be the coolest thing ever and it received the highest number of bets and then our friend confirmed the win. As he said, "It would be so big that you could run and run and jump and never worry about falling off!" Very funny. Just like my friends.



Fortunately, the kids seemed to have as much fun as we did and that makes the night even sweeter. No one really wanted to go home but there will always be another Games Night next month.

"I found you!" playing Hide and Seek.


And jumping on the bed: Does it ever get more fun than this? No, and that's why adults fantasize about buying the world's biggest trampoline.

Food Waste Reduction Challenge

It turns out that another blog I follow is also doing a Food Waste Reduction Challenge. The Crunchy Chicken posted a very informative article about the horror of food waste. The gist is "50% of the garbage that goes into the landfill is edible food. Even if your food goes out into the compost or picked up by your local yard waste service for composting, it's still not only a waste of money, but it's also a waste of energy. "

I was going to post my food waste on Sunday, the day before I shop for groceries and the day I like to clean out my fridge, but the Frugal Girl posts her food waste on Friday and she includes a link from her blog, so I will just do it on Friday, too. It will help me remember to get it done.

I have no waste from my fridge this week and as I mentioned earlier I cleaned out my freezer last week (a heel of bread and two hot dog buns). So today I tackled my pantry and it was not pretty.


I had two different jars of protein powder that we used for smoothies before G was born. G doesn't like smoothies (at least not with protein powder, which admittedly is not very tasty) so we never use the stuff anymore. Really, everything - the graham cracker crumbs, the gluten-free bread crumbs I bought mistaking them for *real* bread crumbs, the wild rice, the milk chocolate chips I mistook for semi-sweet, the powdered sugar, and package of instant alfredo powder (what was I thinking?) - was purchased *years* ago and I kept hoping I would one day use them, but I am now willing to admit that day will never come and hopefully the chickens will benefit since we never did.

Now that I've (mostly) cleaned out my pantry, I'm hoping to find that I have no food waste in the coming weeks. I'm generally very good with planning/purchasing food for meals and we happily eat leftovers for lunch, so I really can't remember the last time I threw out (or gave to the chickens) much food from the fridge. And I still have months to figure out what to do with all the kohlrabi we get from our CSA that *always* got wasted. :)

Living Cheerfully on Less

The title of this post is actually a tag line from a blog I like to visit, The Frugal Girl. I discovered her after she posted to one of my favorite blogs, No Impact Man. I liked her comment and I was intrigued by her moniker because I also fancy myself as a frugal girl. I've been enjoying her posts ever since and she has inspired me to create (and stick to!) a weekly food budget and be more accountable for the food that gets wasted in our household. We usually don't have much food go to waste and what does usually benefits our chickens which supply eggs, so I don't feel too bad about it, but I do want to be more proactive.

I've been tracking our food expenses for months and generally we have spent anywhere from $150 to $400 a week for food - including groceries, dining out, and party fare. The Frugal Girl spends on average $80-100 a week for a family of 6! Fortunately, she is very forthcoming about how she spends so little, even posting her weekly menus and itemized grocery bills. For the month of February I have challenged myself to a weekly budget of $80 for all our food. (If FG can do it for a family of 6, I can at least try for my family of 3!)

This challenge is especially timely because we just bought a "share" of a local farm to the tune of $500 and I won't see the benefit of spending that money until late May when the produce becomes available. We feel a little bit of a pinch economically now, but it is well worth it to support our local organic farmers and further reap the benefits of delicious local fruits and vegetables from late spring to early fall.

From now on I will publish pictures of our food waste on Sunday and our weekly menu and grocery bill on Monday. I actually started the project last week (an old heel of bread and some hot dog buns went to the chickens much to their delight) and spent $76.73 on food for the week. We are not going out to eat this week but we are hosting a party of 8 (plus kids). In the past I have given little thought to the expense associated with hosting our regular monthly gatherings because the fun and fellowship are so important to me. It required a little more thought but I kept within my budget this week by planning on vegetarian chili and cornbread for our meal. (I had chips and salsa already in my pantry and my friends have offered to provide beer and salad, so it will be quite a celebratory feast.)

To be clear, I am not following a budget because of a sense of scarcity. I simply subscribe to a belief that I can live, to quote the Frugal Girl, cheerfully on less. And I find that it is a fun and satisfying exercise to challenge myself in that regard. A few weeks ago a friend mentioned being in debt because he had been paying for an "upper-middle-class lifestyle". It was the first time I heard a friend describe their socio-economic status and it inspired an interesting discussion with my husband. We agreed that we are wealthy. We live on $55K of annual income from our part-time employment, we have no debt other than our mortgage, we have plenty of savings, we contribute to multiple charities, and we live, I believe, very well. Cheers!

My Boys

This week I am rejoicing in my boys.

I almost didn't get this picture. We were upstairs laughing to beat the band and I thought, I'd love to get a picture of this, but the camera is downstairs and I'd rather just be present for this moment. But we just kept laughing and laughing and I thought, I think I can capture this.

In this moment D and G are reading The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog. One of our favorites. G knows it by heart and loves when he can say "blah, blah, blah" along with the pigeon. I don't think he's ever heard anyone say "blah, blah, blah" other than the pigeon, but he has always gotten that it's a funny thing to say. G's sense of humor was obvious to us when he was just a wee little babe. We have great audio of his laughter at just a few weeks old. He is truly a testament to a great quote I read from Paul Krassner: "English is my second language. Laughter is my first." It's true for all of us and I love that my boys speak it so fluently.

The Clearest Mirror

Last month I read a remarkable quote in the Sun:

So a relationship is a great gift, not because it makes us happy - it often doesn't - but because any intimate relationship, if we view it as a practice, is the clearest mirror we can find. -Charlotte Joko Beck

I love this quote so much because it describes how I feel about intimate relationships, particularly the one I have with my husband. I wouldn't say it describes it exactly though because our relationship does make me very happy quite often. Of course it has not *always* made me happy and that is where I have felt the rub and that's why I love what Beck has to say on the subject. Even though my marriage may not make me blissfully happy all the time, I am always grateful for the fact that I have a partner who also views our relationship as a practice. He offers a wonderful mirror: it often reflects a big, deep, generous love.

And when it doesn't - when the relationship is not making me so very happy - it offers a clear reflection of where *my* work lies and points to the spot where I want to dig an even deeper well for love. The work is not always easy but it is deeply satisfying. And I know that D is just as willing as I am to pick up the shovel and dig in beside me.

The picture below was taken the other night after D surprised me by arranging for a babysitter and getting reservations at one of my favorite restaurants. It was the first "date" we'd had in months and it was lovely.

This week I am definitely rejoicing in the relationship I have with my dear, sweet husband.

Filling the Well

I am going to get in my weekly post on rejoicing just under the wire: I had, by my standards, a very work-intensive week. Usually I work one 24-hour shift in hospital once a week. One week in every six weeks I need to cover an 8-hour clinic shift in addition to my hospital shift. So this week I was scheduled for clinic Monday and hospital Tuesday/Wednesday, with a monthly staff meeting to follow. Then my dear friend and colleague fractured her finger and she is out on medical leave for the foreseeable future so I need to work more. This week it meant working clinic again on Thursday.

I was a little anxious because so many unusual demands were being made of me and my husband (who was expected to keep the trains running on time at home) and my child (who would be away from me for longer than he ever had been). I think of my spirit as a well: if it is going to be drawn on more than usual, and if I do not want it to be diminished, I need to find more ways of filling it. So I asked my family and friends to help in myriad ways - everything from child care and meals to pedicures and beers. And at the end of the week I was truly grateful to know that not only had I provided wonderful care to my patients but *I* had been provided with wonderful care, too.

My greatest concern was about missing G and him missing me. I managed not to worry though because I focused on knowing that he would have great care. When I got back home on Thursday evening after so much time of being away, this is what he said:

G: Why you come here so soon? Why you come so soon to my house?

Me: I wanted to come home and see you!

G: You through at the hospital?

Me: Yes, I'm all through.

G: What happened to the babies?

Me: The babies are all home with their mommies.

G: They all right?

Me: Yes, sweetie, they are fine.

G (giving me a hug): I'm so glad you went to my house.

D was there and we looked at each other with relief, gratitude and amusement. (And then I told him to make sure to write everything down so we wouldn't forget.)

We've had the most wonderful day today: we're calling it a "jammy" day. We planned nothing more than staying at home - eating homemade cinnamon buns, caring for our neighbor's dog, taking walks, exploring a frozen creek, running around our neighborhood playground, putting together a puzzle, and enjoying each others company immensely.

This week I am rejoicing that my well is full.

My Baby Ravenna!

This week I'm rejoicing in my children's book, Ravenna.

She had a very long gestation and was born in March, 2007. In her first year, like all mothers, I watched her constantly for signs of development - and a big leap occurred when my dear friend Daniel Nevins provided illustrations in November. But then, in 2008, she didn't seem to reach any of the milestones I had anticipated for her. I tried not to worry when she didn't take her first steps when I expected them, but I was a little disappointed. And then, at some point in the last year I learned an amazing lesson from her. I stopped expecting her to *do* anything. I learned to love her just because she *is*.

And now (of course) wonderful things are happening. About a month ago my dear husband said he thought it was time Ravenna get outside for some fresh air and suggested I upload Daniel's illustrations to my Facebook page and make my favorite painting my profile picture. I got such a nice response there that my dear, sweet husband decided to surprise me on Christmas with the gift of a website just for her. And in the last month I've discovered several publishing companies that might help Ravenna find her place in the world.

It brings me great joy to reflect on Ravenna and all I have learned from her and all I have to look forward to as she develops. But most of all, the greatest cause for rejoicing is the fact that she exists.

P.S. The website isn't quite "live" yet. We plan to make some changes. It would be lovely if you could visit it and provide some feedback (either through comments here or my email).